The public boat launch is the busiest theater on the lake. Everyone is an audience member, and nobody buys a ticket. On a Saturday in July, the line forms early and the opinions form earlier.
Prep in the lot, not on the ramp
The ramp is for launching. The parking lot is for everything else. Load the cooler, install the plug, strap down the seat cushions, and find the keys before you get in line.
If you are still looking for your life jackets at the ramp, you are the reason for the honking.
- Park in the staging area and finish every task there.
- Check the drain plug. Then check it again.
- Pull the straps, lights, and anything that flaps.
- Only then, drive to the ramp.
Back in straight, or tell no one
Backing a trailer down a ramp is a skill that looks easy from a distance. Every boater has, at some point, arrived at the water at a slight angle and pretended it was on purpose.
If your first attempt fails, pull forward and try again. If your fifth attempt fails, wave at the line like this is a parade. Everybody has been you.
The one-person launch audience
At any ramp, there is one person sitting on a tailgate with a coffee and a lawn chair. He has watched forty launches this morning. He will not say a word. He will remember your name.
Clean, drain, and dry
This is the serious part. Wisconsin requires boaters to remove plants and animals and drain water before leaving a launch. Invasive species spread on boats, trailers, and gear, and one careless trip can change a whole lake. Follow the posted rules at the landing, and if you are unsure, ask the Wisconsin DNR.
- Remove plants, mud, and animals from the boat and trailer.
- Drain the water from the motor, live wells, and bilge.
- Dry what you can before the next lake.
The Poontoon needs its own launch
A 50-person inflatable raft does not fit on a standard ramp. It does not fit in a standard lot. It barely fits in the standard conversation about it.
We are lobbying for a Poontoon-only landing with a valet, a firetruck lane, and a sign that reads "Gary, Please Stop Here." The committee will table it.
Until then, be kind at the ramp. Everyone there is trying to get to the same lake, the same sunset, and the same cold drink. The person who waits two extra minutes is the person who gets a wave of thanks and, on a good day, a cheese curd.