Nobody hands you a phrasebook at the state line. Consider this one issued. Definitions are approximate, deadpan, and Gary-approved. Pronunciation is left as an exercise, mostly because the locals cannot agree on it either, and a heated debate at the landing over how to say a word is a rite of passage. Read the list once before you head north, and again on the way home, when it will suddenly make sense.
The glossary
- Bubbler
- A drinking fountain. Asking for a "water fountain" here marks you as a tourist, which is fine, but the bubbler will know.
- Ope
- The sound a Wisconsinite makes while moving around you in a narrow aisle, at a boat launch, or in a life crisis. Also used as an apology, a greeting, and a warning.
- Up north
- Anywhere further north than you currently are. It is a direction, a feeling, and a legitimate reason to leave work at noon on Friday.
- Stop-and-go lights
- Traffic signals. Nobody says "traffic light" on the drive up north, and nobody has explained why.
- You betcha
- Yes, enthusiastically, with a small nod. It is not an accent. It is a commitment.
- The cabin
- Any structure near water, regardless of size, plumbing, or legality of the addition. "We are heading to the cabin" ends all further discussion.
- Ice-out
- The day the lake ice finally lets go in spring. Neighbors guess the date, money changes hands, and one person always claims they called it in January.
- Walleye
- A fish. Also a personality, a Friday menu item, and the reason your uncle owns three specialized lures.
- Muskie
- The fish of ten thousand casts. If you catch one, you will tell the story forever. If you do not, you will also tell the story forever.
- Supper club
- A restaurant with a relish tray, dim lighting, and a bar that predates the building. Dinner takes three hours and nobody is in a hurry.
- Brandy old fashioned sweet
- The state cocktail, ordered by saying the full phrase exactly like that, with a cherry and an orange slice in it. Do not ask for it "not sweet." Do not.
- Lake flies
- Small insects that appear in clouds around dusk in warm weather. They are harmless and everywhere, and they land on your snack with the confidence of a landlord.
- The landing
- The boat launch. Everyone says "the landing," and everyone has an opinion about who blocked it last Saturday.
- Come here once
- An invitation to walk over and look at something, usually a boat part, a fish, or a problem. It has never once been quick.
Captain's tip
If you say "ope" while nearly bumping into someone on the Poontoon, you have officially been naturalized. Bring documentation to the fish fry.